You did a fantastic job today~ The topic is stress but you're not stressed. Your opinions and ideas are great and interesting. You were also able to use the vocabulary well. Keep up the great job~!

You said: lost my health and my energy/ mental energy/ strength.

Another way: may cause health problem/ decline in my health and my mentally exhausted/mentally drained.

You said: Financial medication/ Financial compensation is enough.

Another way: Financially rewarding

You said: wanna get refresh outside, the air of workplace is deep.

Better: Get some fresh air outside, because the air in the workplace is heavy.

You said: Hair designer

Correct: Hairdresser